To Care Too Much
by DancingInTheDark85
Summary: While on their five year mission, the crew of the Enterprise come across a colony suffering from an unknown and deadly disease. Can Dr 'Bones' McCoy and his team find the cure before it's too late? 'Bones' takes an emotional whumping with a side of Jim/Bones bromance. No slash.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Same story as before, just a few minor alterations, unnoticeable to most, but I'm a perfectionist.

Disclaimer: First things first: as with all things fanfiction there are a whole load of people who can take credit for these characters and the world they live in. I've just borrowed them for a bit and am making no money from this.

I hope you enjoy my first offering to this fandom, it's set some time after Into Darkness but before Beyond. The crew of the Enterprise are about a year into their five year mission. There will be hurt/comfort, drama and a bit of bromance. But there will not be slash.

* * *

Chapter 1

When Doctor Leonard McCoy had been summoned to the bridge by his Captain he had responded with a string of expletives harsh enough to make a cross-galaxy trucker blush. As his tirade had been broadcasted over the intercom for the whole bridge to hear he guessed he shouldn't be surprised to see James Kirk waiting for him when he stormed out of surgery an hour later.

His mood hadn't improved either, wishing he had doors to slam as they whooshed open as he strode through them, tearing off his disposable surgical gown as he did. He stopped in his tracks when he saw two men sat waiting for him. Scotty was hunched over in McCoy's chair, his elbows resting on his thighs, staring at his bandaged hands, Kirk was sat on McCoy's desk, swinging his legs back and forth like an impatient child. They both looked up as the doctor as he came in, with two completely different expressions on their face, Scotty looked like someone had kicked his puppy, while Kirk looked relaxed and smiling. McCoy was thrown at first, surely Scotty would have told their captain what had happened, but then he realised with a sinking feeling that Kirk did know but his utmost faith in his Chief Medical Officer gave him the belief that there was nothing to worry about. After all, he'd brought him back from the dead so a few burns shouldn't be a problem should it?

Kirk had started talking before he'd even properly taken in the sight before him, "Bones, I couldn't care less what you call me to my face but in front of everyone on the bridge it's… holy shit that's a lot of blood!" He changed his sentence as his brain processed what he was seeing. The smile left his lips and he stopped swinging his legs.

McCoy looked down at himself, the gown caught in his gloved fist where he'd frozen in the process of ripping it off. The white fabric was drenched in deep red, from his chest down, his gloves and arms were similarly soaked. Scotty looked like he was going to be sick. He felt a surge of guilt, he should have known the engineer would have been waiting for news and should never have left the theatre in such a morbid state. He finished pulling the gown off along with his gloves and facemask, balled them up and tossed them in the medical waste chute for incineration.

"Scotty, I'm sorry." He said, his voice strained, ignoring the captain for the moment. "I tried everything I could, the burns and the damage to her brain were too extensive."

"Aye lad," Scotty said, with a grim smile that was meant to be comforting. "I know you did." McCoy shook his head in disbelief, that was supposed to be his job wasn't it?

"She would have made a great engineer." He said sorrowfully. Kirk reached out and gripped the Scot's shoulder, giving it a squeeze of solidarity. It had been a tragic accident, made worse by the fact it had happened to someone so young. Scotty and the new engineering student, Ensign Ayrie had been trying to fix the warp core when something blew up. They'd both been blasted backwards, sliding at speed across the floor of the engineering room. Scotty had received substantial burns to his hands and forearms but Ayrie had taken the brunt of the blast. It had sent her flying backwards and by a stroke of bad luck had only come to a stop when her head struck the corner of a metal unit. Even without the head injury, her wounds would likely have been too extensive, her face, arms and chest had severe third degree burns and she'd also inhaled the flames, which had caused intensive burns in her trachea and lungs. McCoy had spent hours fighting for her life but in the end it had all been in vain. Ten hours it had taken him, and for ten hours Scotty had sat waiting for news of his charge.

McCoy was exhausted, he wanted a hot shower and then to collapse into bed with a bottle of bourbon but he wasn't done yet. Scotty had severe burns and so far he hadn't had the time to take a look at them. He'd left a nurse to wrap them in cooling gel bandages as a temporary fix while he was in surgery but now he could take a proper look. "Come on, let's get you into a bed and let me take a look at those hands." He offered. Scotty nodded and stood up but the blood rushed to his head all at one and he staggered. McCoy leapt forward and slung an arm around his waist to steady him. "You get any pain meds?"

Scotty nodded lamely, "Yeah, but they wore off."

McCoy cursed again, of course they had, he'd been given them ten hours ago, but when Ayrie's vitals had taken a turn for the worse it had been all hands on deck and the poor man had been abandoned. Together they shuffled slowly to the bio-bed and McCoy helped the engineer onto it. He filled a hypospray with painkiller and injected it into Scotty's neck. He could see the almost instant relief it gave as Scotty settled back into the bed, his frown just a little less than it had been.

"Better?" McCoy asked, perching himself on a stool and taking the engineer's right hand gently and starting to unwrap it.

"Mm," Scotty nodded the affirmative, the hypo causing him to feel sleepy.

McCoy finished unwrapping the bandage and inspected the hand and arm carefully, second degree burn over the palm and forearm, not much better on the back. The skin was cracked and blistered and the fabric of his uniform had melted into his skin in places. He undid the dressings on the left arm to compare then dressed it back up again while he worked on the right, having deemed it was the slightly worse of the two and required his attention first.

"They're gonna take a while to clean out and then they'll need a few sessions with the dermal regenerator. It will be a bit unpleasant but we can keep you comfortably numb for most of it, we'll have you as good as new in no time." McCoy reassured him.

Scotty nodded so McCoy got to work, beginning to tweeze out the pieces of burnt fabric as gently as he could. Scotty kept his eyes shut and McCoy ignored the stray tear that leaked out passed his eyelashes. He realised as he worked that there was a presence hovering behind him that was incredibly off-putting.

"Can I help you Captain?" He asked, somewhat harshly. He knew his temper was irrational, but he was upset and exhausted and had to take it out on someone. As usual, his friend Jim was posing as the perfect target. He was angry at him and it took him a moment to work out why, the interruption during surgery hadn't really been an issue, although it had irked him that as usual Kirk had been oblivious to the seriousness of the situation. No, what really upset him had been Jim's casual reaction when he had come out of the theatre. The captain had just been so sure that his doctor could fix everything, but dammit Jim, he was a doctor not God.

"Erm, yeah." Kirk began, knowing the doctor was pissed at him but clearly not quite sure why. "We got a distress call from a nearby colony. Apparently a shuttle crashed there a few months ago. They were taken in by the locals and nursed back to health but unfortunately they seem to have passed on the flu virus and started an epidemic. The colony is human but haven't had much contact with the outside in a century or more so haven't had anything like it before and don't have the immunity."

McCoy nodded wearily. "The next shift comes on in just under an hour. I'll get them prepped and they can be your away team."

"Okay, they're kinda in a hurry but…"

McCoy turned and scowled at him. "Dammit Jim! My team have just spent ten hours trying to save a dying girl! They're spent. I'm not sending them planetside now and I'm not dragging the next team in early. They'll just have to wait."

James Kirk could see he wasn't going to get a better offer with his surly friend. "I'll let them know, send the team to the bridge when they're ready to go. Get well soon Scotty." He offered as he left. Neither doctor nor engineer responded.

Eventually his team of nurses came out of the operating theatre, having cleaned it in preparation for its next use. They looked as exhausted as McCoy felt. He looked up from where he was still cleaning Scotty's wounds and gave them a smile. "Get some rest." He ordered. "I can manage on my own until the next shift comes in." He purposefully neglected to tell them that the next shift would be heading down to the planet. Nurse Chapel looked like she was about to argue with him but he cut her off, "I mean it, I'll be fine."

"You did all you could Doctor," she offered solemnly as she followed the others out. "Don't beat yourself up about it."

"Mmm, I'll try." McCoy muttered under his breath as he turned his concentration back to his patient.

It took him a further three hours to clean out Scotty's wounds and use the dermal regenerator on them. The burns were deep so they would need multiple sessions before they fully healed, but this was all he could manage now. He glanced down at his work, the skin all red and puckered from the fire, but they were looking a lot better. The next team had come in and had been sent down to the planet so apart from Scotty, his only patient, he was all alone in the Med Bay.

Scotty was sleeping, McCoy was desperate to sleep too but as the only one on duty he couldn't even risk a few minutes on the old sofa he'd had installed in his office. Instead he made a quick call to the team on the ground to confirm diagnosis and then set about making more batches of antivirus.

Eight hours later Christine Chapel found him striding between the Med Bay and the lab, cup of thick black coffee in his hand and deep in thought. Scotty was fast asleep in his bio-bed, curled round his damaged arms protectively, still under the effects of the sedative he'd been dosed with.

"Leonard, how did I know I would find you here?"

"Mm," McCoy looked up at her as though he hadn't expected to see her. "Could say the same to you, shift doesn't start for another four hours."

She smiled softly, "Yes, but as I was going to my room I heard that you were sending the gamma team planetside so I knew you were going to be in here on your own. You must be exhausted."

He had the good grace not to deny it but just shrugged instead. Truth was he was exhausted and all the coffee in the world was unlikely to help at this point. He caught a glance at his reflection in the glass of one of the medicine cabinets and could see dishevelled hair, five o'clock shadow and the lines on his face were more prominent than usual.

"We had a request for assistance. Outbreak of flu that's proving to be lethal to the local people. M'Benga and his team went down there to help." He explained, running a hand over his tired face. "Someone had to stay here and keep an eye on Scotty."

Chapel nodded, "Which I am more than capable of doing. I'll be looking after you too if you don't get some sleep."

McCoy was about to protest but then thought better of it. "I'll be in my office. Wake me if anything changes." He shuffled off towards his office, now that sleep was a prospect, he found himself unable to keep his eyes open. "Thank you Christine."

"You can thank me by looking after yourself." She replied as he shut the door.

McCoy barely glanced at the sofa in his small office before collapsing down on it, head on the armrest and long legs pulled up so they were no longer hanging off the edge. There was already a blanket and a pillow on it that one of the nursing staff had laundered and left for him after the last time. For the last few months he seemed to spend more time sleeping on this couch than in his own bed. Idly he promised himself that next time he was on a suitably civilised planet he would buy himself a couch that was at least a bit comfier. But it was a promise he made to himself on regular occasions and he just never got round to it. He lay in the dark and shifted round to get comfortable, listening to Christine pottering around the Med Bay just outside the door. She was singing an unrecognisable tune as she worked and although she was slightly off-key it worked as a lullaby for the exhausted doctor.

It was barely two hours later when there was a tentative knock at the door. McCoy still in the fog of sleep barely had time to consider telling the knocker to go away before the door was opened. He rolled away from where his face was smushed into the back of the sofa and stared at the intruders. It was Nurse Chapel and Captain Kirk and the only logical explanation for why they'd be waking him up together was 'trouble'.

"Sleeping on the job are we Bones?" Kirk grinned at the disgruntled doctor.

Chapel glared at their Captain but he didn't notice.

"What's wrong?" McCoy scrubbed a hand over his face and sat up, flinging the blanket aside.

"We've got a problem." Kirk answered. "Doctor M'Benga has spoken to us from down on the planet. It turns out the sickness isn't what they first thought. They've become ill with it."

McCoy cursed under his breath.

"It is flu." Chapel explained, "But it appears to have mutated beyond the conventional virus. The team's inoculations haven't worked and they've come down with it really fast. Nurse Tura is already in a really bad way."

"I'm getting the team ready to beam back up and…"

"No Jim, don't do that." McCoy interrupted. "If we do that we run the risk of infecting the entire crew. I'll go down to them."

"I'll go with you." Chapel volunteered immediately.

"No. I'm going to need you in the lab. We're going to have to synthesise a new treatment. Jim can we get Spock in here to help?"

"Of course. Whatever you need Bones." Kirk agreed and immediately used his comm device to start throwing orders around.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ten minutes later and McCoy was gripping his Med-bag tightly as he fought the feeling of nausea that came with every transportation. He was dressed in a rather cumbersome bio-hazard suit that he hated and carrying every bit of equipment that he could think of. He'd spent the last ten minutes throwing all this together and arguing with both Chapel and Kirk who had suddenly taken it upon themselves to hover around him worriedly and try to convince him to take someone with him. He'd prevailed and was going down alone, at least until he could figure out what he needed. There was no point in risking anyone else if he didn't have to, bio-hazard suit or not, and as he had pointed out most of the work would have to be done in the lab while they worked on a cure.

As he rematerialized on the planet's surface he fought the urge to throw up into the bio-suit. He gave himself a minute to stop his head from spinning and then surveyed what he had in front of him. The planet was hot, that was his first observation. Something that would make working in the suit even more unbearable. They seemed to be on the edge of a small town, with dry and dusty farmland stretching out for as far as the eye could see. It reminded him slightly of August back home in Georgia. Back home he'd liked the summer heat, but then he'd been working in a nice air-conditioned hospital not in a plastic suit.

He was stood in front of a small health centre. But it was clear even from the outside that the centre had been too small. It appeared to be barely more than a doctor's office, space for maybe five or six patients at most. They were clearly working beyond their resources now. Tents had been set up in the grounds outside and McCoy could hear from the noises in them that they were full of patients.

A tent flap opened at the sound of his arrival and Doctor M'Benga strode out of it. McCoy balked at the state of his colleague. The other doctor was stooped over with exhaustion, a hacking cough causing his whole body to double over as he tried to clear his lungs. Sweat was running down his face and McCoy was sure it wasn't just a result of the hot weather.

"God, I'm glad to see you." M'Benga said. "We're drowning here." He ushered him inside the tent. As McCoy entered the tent even the bio-suit couldn't prevent him from being assaulted by the smell. The smell of death was unmistakable once you'd smelled it once. The tent was full of temporary beds and every single one of them was occupied. M'Benga's team moved around them hurriedly, changing IV's and checking vital signs with tricorders. McCoy could see they were running on adrenaline alone, they all looked weary and were fighting back coughs and fevers. Nurse Tura was already laying in one of the bed, asleep and dreaming feverishly.

"We have about fifty patients at the moment, the oldest patients are in the medical centre, everyone else is in the two tents," M'Benga stated as he walked McCoy through the situation. "The sickness first broke out about a month ago, at first it appeared to be regular flu and the shuttle crew and local doctor treated it as such. But the virus seems to not respond to conventional medicine. They weren't getting better and nothing seemed to slow it. The first patient died a week after. Their fever wouldn't break and their lungs filled with fluid. They died of oedema. From then on it seems to have spread exponentially. Many of the village have come down with it, and there's news from other settlements too. They've been pouring in all day since word spread that we got here. They've lost track of how many have died so far and they've been burning the bodies to stop the disease spreading, but they reckon the number is into the hundreds by now."

They walked through the temporary ward and McCoy checked a few of the handwritten charts that had been hastily made up and attached to the end of the beds. They left the tent and went into the health centre itself. Inside, there was a crowd of people queuing miserably outside the doctor's office, they'd run out of chairs and most were sat on the floor. McCoy didn't need a tricorder to see they were all unwell with the same thing. Nurse Jansen stuck her head out of the doctor's office and ushered the next person in. McCoy caught her eye and gave her a grim smile. She smiled back but it was interrupted by a cough that she couldn't control. She looked worse than all her patients.

"Where is their medical staff?" McCoy asked.

"They only had a doctor and two nurses. The last one died about a week ago."

"And how are your team? None of you look well."

"Nurse Tura was the first to feel sick, started displaying symptoms about four hours after we arrived. About an hour ago she fell so sick she could no longer work. She's in the tent."

"None of you should be working." McCoy pointed out.

M'Benga just shrugged in response. "We expected to be immune, we're all up to date with vaccinations but it's perhaps our close contact we've had with the victims but we seem to be more affected by it." The younger doctor coughed again and then couldn't stop. McCoy grabbed him by the shoulders and guided him to a table to sit on, all the chairs were taken. He supported him gently until the coughing subsided.

"Okay. Come with me." McCoy said in a voice that brooked no argument. He lead the weary doctor out to the second tent. Inside there were a few spare beds amongst the patients. "Lie down." He ordered.

"But Len…"

"I don't want to hear it." McCoy cut him off. He actually forced the man onto the bed and picked up his legs and swung them onto it. M'Benga realised that he didn't have the energy to win this argument and laid back on the thin mattress. McCoy got his tricorder out and started running his vitals. While the tricorder did its thing he got a bag of antiviral meds and saline out and the IV lines and needles needed to set up a drip. It took him less than a minute to find a vein and set the medicine flowing through the other doctor's system. As he did M'Benga ran him through their current treatment plan and got him up to speed with what had and hadn't worked so far, but when his explanation dissolved in another fit of coughing McCoy just patted him on the shoulder and told him to rest.  
***

McCoy sighed and wished he could drink coffee with the bio-suit on. He felt less like a doctor and more like someone spinning plates. Thankfully he and his team had managed to clear the line of people waiting to be seen, they were all now in beds themselves and receiving the meds that they had to work with. While he had been concentrating on that he had had his remaining nursing staff take blood samples from everyone, marked up with how long they'd been showing symptoms, when they'd first begun treatment and what treatment they'd received. All that information and the samples had been beamed back up to Spock and Chapel, hoping they could analyse it and devise a solution.

In the meantime his nursing team had also been dropping like flies. Seven out of the eight of them were now laid out in beds of their own. And then he'd had his first death from the disease.

It had been one of the old men who had been kept in the tiny ward at the med centre. According to the others in the room be had only been there a few days but had deteriorated rapidly. He'd arranged for the some of the more lucid patients to have a comm link up so that he could be alerted should anything happen. It was less than ideal but with the lack of staff it was something that had become necessary and so far it seemed to be going well. It was the middle of the night when he was alerted by a panicked frail voice asking him to come to the med centre ward. McCoy had taken off at a sprint.

When he got there he realised the old man by the door was having a heart attack, his fever spiking and breathing hampered by the fluid in his lungs. He spoke to him calmly as he prepared a hypospray to get his tachycardia under control but before he could administer it the tricorder beeped telling him the man had gone into v-fib. Hastily he slapped on a set of electronic pads and attached them to a defibrillator. Stepping back just enough for the machine to give the man a shock before leaning back in and starting CPR. When the machine told him to stop and prepared to give the next shock McCoy filled a hypospray with adrenaline and shot it into the man's neck just moments before the shock was given. As he began his second round of CPR he looked behind him to get a nurse's attention before he realised no nurses were there, just a room full of horrified patients staring at him with a mix of awe and trepidation. He cursed under his breath and carried on. When the third shock happened the machine beeped differently and told him in that monotone recorded voice that reminded him a little too much of Spock that a heart rhythm had been found. McCoy was so relieved his hands almost shook with it.

He gave the man a hypospray cocktail designed to control his cardio function and then settled in to wait to see if it worked. Any chairs that had been in the tiny med centre had been taken downstairs to the waiting area. It was only down one flight but right at that moment it felt too far for his aching legs to go and fetch one. McCoy almost collapsed beside the man's bed and sat with his back against the wall, legs folded up to steady himself as he stared at the results on the tricorder. Once he was mostly satisfied with the results he called his remaining nurse to come upstairs and to stay on the ward, advising her to bring a chair. When she arrived, feverish but still on her feet, he made her sit by the man's bed and keep an eye on him. He checked the readings on the other seven patients he had in that room, and then, satisfied for now he left to check on the others.

He spent the next few hours checking on everyone, changing bags of fluid and administering doses of various drugs to counter individual symptoms until this time it was Nurse Khanom to call him back up to the med centre ward. By the time he got there she had already attached the defibrillator and was going through the motions of performing CPR, although she no longer had the strength in her body to be effective. He took over and asked her to prepare another shot of adrenaline instead but this time it didn't work. When he'd had no response after fifteen minutes he called it, stepping back and pulling a sheet over the man. Not having the time for ceremony, he wheeled the bed with the dead old man on it out of the ward and into the elevator to the morgue they had in the basement. They'd run out of bodybags so he wrapped him in the sheet and heaved him onto one of the only table down there, not an easy feat for one tired man to perform on his own. Before leaving him, he drew more blood and marked up his notes, hoping the additional information would help his team on the Enterprise.

When he left the morgue on his way to send his latest batch of bloodtests, he walked through the waiting room by the doctor's office and heard a sobbing from inside. He knocked gently before he opened the door and let himself in. The young nurse who he had tasked with looking after the ward was curled up on the floor behind the desk, having wedged herself into a corner, knees drawn up to her chest. McCoy didn't say anything but spun the chair out of his way and sat down on the floor beside her, not quite touching, his own back against the wall. The move wasn't as graceful as he'd intended, in his exhaustion he misjudged and bumped his thigh into the corner of the desk, snagging the cumbersome suit. The knock was hard enough to bruise but he didn't have the energy to care. He let his legs sprawl out in front of him and looked at his feet while the young nurse got used to his presence there.

She ran a hand over her face to wipe the tears away and looked up at him so he turned to face her and gave her a tired smile.

"It's Khadisha isn't it?" He said. "I'm sorry we've not really had chance to meet yet." He had met her, a young woman of Indian descent but with a London accent, fresh out of academy training, he'd interviewed her for the position before she'd been assigned to the Enterprise a month previously. Since then he'd seen her about, mostly on changeover and those times when he'd stayed late to help out on a busy shift, but those times had always been so manic he'd never had time for small talk. She looked at him, tears streaked down her face. Her skin was flushed and her black hair was stuck to her brow with fever. Her body shook with chills and she seemed barely able to keep her eyes open.

"It's been a long day hasn't it?" He carried on when he realised she wasn't going to say anything. "One of my worst days in a long time and I'm gonna guess it's one of yours too. You shouldn't be working, you should be in bed trying to get better and I'm sorry I made you work for as long as you have, but I needed you. You've done an incredible job today."

"I killed him." She said quietly, her voice quavering. "I wasn't strong enough to do it properly and I killed him."

McCoy gave her a look and then without thinking about it he slung am arm across her shoulders and pulled her to him, she was so exhausted she let him do it and rested her head on his shoulder. "Shh, I don't want to hear any of that. You did all you could. No one could've done any more. You've been amazing today. And it's not over yet but it's going to be. It's going to be alright, I promise." They sat in silence a moment as his words sunk in.

"Ha," she laughed harshly and wiped more tears away. "I'm sorry Doctor, this is really embarrassing. I barely know you and…"

"Hey," he interrupted gently. "Your secret's safe with me. We can't all have the emotional stunting of a Vulcan. Come on, let's get you up." He stood and then pulled her up with him. He kept his arm slung around her as he guided her unsteadily outside and towards the tent with a couple of spare beds and the rest of the ailing medical team. He helped her to a cot and set her up with meds, within minutes she was sleeping fitfully.

He glanced round the tent and the patients, now many of whom he considered colleagues and friends and then he stepped outside into the humid night air. He felt almost ready to cry himself but he didn't, just strode away far enough from the tent that his conversation couldn't be heard before activating the comm link.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jim Kirk was feeling helpless. The Enterprise's Med Bay was a hive of activity, Nurse Chapel had whipped her team into shape and they were hurrying around trying to perform all sorts of experiments and tests on the blood work that had been sent. Spock and his science officers were in the middle of the chaos trying to decipher the results and come up with workable solutions, so far it didn't seem to have yielded much success. Kirk hadn't wanted to leave, wanting to know the instant they found something, but his forte wasn't chemistry or biology either so he'd carved himself out a role as tea-boy. Once he'd finished serving everyone the coffee they wanted and fetching a month's supply of cookies from the canteen, (none of that nasty replicated stuff for his team), he'd sat down beside Scotty and tried to stay out of the way. Scotty, who should have been sleeping but couldn't with all the activity going on, gazed up at him from his bio-bed and gave him a commiserating smile. Neither of them were good at doing nothing in a crisis.

Kirk jumped when the comm link beeped, announcing an incoming call from the planet. He jumped up to answer it but Spock beat him to it.

"Doctor?" Spock answered, calm as ever.

"You'd better have some good news for me Spock." The familiar southern accent sounded tinny over the comm link. Tinny and fed up.

"We have ascertained that the initial premise was wrong. It is a flu however rather than the crew being more immune to it because of our inoculations, it appears they are in fact more susceptible, no doubt aggravated by the physical labour that comes with caring for the sick."

"Gee thanks Spock." The voice of their doctor sounded less fed up and more infuriated. "Think I could've figured that one out all on my own. My whole team is down."

"Bones," Kirk cut in. "Do you me to send some more medical staff to you? The bio-suit works right?"

There was a long sigh on the other end as he contemplated the offer. "No," he said eventually. "I'd rather they spent their time looking for a cure. I'll manage."

"Youse goin' tae let him do that?" Scotty asked his captain. "When was the las' time you ate anything laddie?" He piped up so his voice could be heard clearer over the comm.

"I'm fine." Was the terse reply. "Just hurry up with the cure for this thing. If yesterday was anything to go by I'll have a row of new patients to treat come morning. I'm sending you up some more samples." He cut off the connection leaving those listening in silence.

Chapel huffed and shook her head at the conversation disapprovingly before getting back to work with renewed determination.

"Jim, you shouldnae let him stay down there all by himself." Scotty said, never one to stand back from an argument, even with his captain.

"You heard him," Kirk responded, "He's fine."

"That man," he pointed at the comm with a red raw hand to indicate his point, "is nae fine."

"He's fine. He's Bones, he's always grouchy." Jim shrugged it off.

"Have ye considered he's always like that 'cause you work him too hard?"

"We are all working hard Mr Scott." Spock pointed out.

"Aye, but in the last forty-eight hours that man's had only a two hour kip on an uncomfortable sofa." Kirk had the grace to look sheepish, Spock was as neutral as ever. It didn't stop Scotty from continuing his rant. "He came oot of a ten hour surgery, completely wrecked then the first thing you do is try an' bully him doon tae the planet tae save more lives. If he'd nae stuck up fer himself he'd be dyin' in a hospital bed right noo. Jimmy, ye meant tae be his friend, but ye forget only one a' your mates is Vulcan. He cannae jus' switch off an' become a robot, nae matter how much he'd like tae. He cares too much!"

Kirk sighed. "You're right okay Scotty? I know you're right. But he's right too. The team are needed up here looking for a cure. Once this is done I promise we'll go home, have a month's leave on Earth and I will personally see to it that Bones gets to sleep all day, see his daughter and eat his mom's pecan pie, but right now I'm going to need him to work just a little harder. He knows that too, which is why I have every faith in him to be able to carry on until we get that cure."

Scotty realised his defeat. "You're gonna send him tae an early grave, you know that don't ye?"

Kirk nodded grimly. "I know."  
***

McCoy stared down at the comm link in his hand, completely unaware of the argument that was raging about him up in the Med Bay. His body ached all over and he could barely keep his eyes open. Even in the pre-dawn it was hot here and he was convinced he'd sweated a couple of kilos off himself while wrapped up in that horrible suit. His clothes were soaked through, hair plastered to his face and he was starting to smell awful. He sat on the dried grass, just a minute to get his strength back and rubbed at the back of his thigh where he could feel a bruise forming from his collision with the table. As he ran his hands over the protesting muscle he noticed something wrong with his suit. Twisting awkwardly to see the underside of his leg he found a small tear in the leg of the bio-suit, revealing his black uniform pants below.

He cursed and then grabbed the hood of the suit and tore it from his head flinging it aside in anger, the whole suit had been compromised now so what did it matter anymore? The air felt good on his face and he laid down in the grass and stared up at the sky, the first of the planet's two suns just starting to lighten the horizon. It was beautiful really, he hadn't taken the time to look before. The sunrise was turning the eastern sky a pale blue, streaked through with pink-hued clouds, while to the west, the lack of light pollution meant he could see every star stretching out ahead of him. There were worse places to die, he supposed, as he thought about just lying there in the grass and waiting for it to all be over. He could close his eyes drift off to sleep and… but he interrupted his own thoughts and cursed himself as he got to his feet.

Clumsily, for his hands were shaking with exhaustion now, he refitted the hood of the bio-suit and made sure it was sealed before heading back into the medical centre. He found a supply closet and after a few minutes of searching found the roll of duct-tape that he'd been looking for. Hastily he wrapped it round his leg, sealing the tear before straightening and getting back to his patients like he hadn't just had a moment of crisis.  
***

Kirk always felt something tickling his face as soon as he put the bio-suit on. He tried scratching it through the plastic face shield but to no avail, it was only psychological anyway. He glanced at Spock and the medical team who were all materialising beside him onto the grassy knoll outside the field hospital. Spock hadn't wanted him to come, had advised that as he had limited medical training it would be an illogical risk even with the bio-suit on. But Kirk still had Scotty's voice ringing in his head and so he'd been determined to come and see just what he'd put his poor medical teams through.

The suns were already setting by the time they'd arrived but Kirk could tell it had been a really hot day. The suit was horrible and he wished he didn't have to wear it. The thought only made him feel guiltier, how long had Bones been in that thing now? Forty six, forty seven hours? And the rest of his team had been ill for even longer, still struggling on while their lungs filled up with fluid. The thought of it made him shudder.

As soon as the team had materialised they'd split up, some making off for the health centre where they'd been informed the most 'at risk' patients were being kept, others to the tents. Kirk followed his First Officer down to the nearest tent, trying to take it all in as he went. It reminded him of the history videos from the 20th century, basic military hospitals set up in archaic canvas structures. Spock opened the tent flap and the pair of them stepped inside to be hit with damp and the smell of decay.

The tent was dimly lit and a cacophony of coughing and laboured breathing, Kirk stared at the dozens of bodies that had been crammed into the small space on narrow beds so close together that there was barely any room to move between them. He noticed with horror that a number of the patients were dressed in Starfleet uniforms. His eyes were drawn up to the back of the tent where a familiar figure was perched on the edges of one of the beds, hunched over the person in it as he attached a new bag of saline and tenderly brushed dark hair back from the young patients face.

"Bones." Kirk said gently as he approached. The doctor was still in his bio-suit but had taken the hood off leaving his face exposed, Kirk noticed the silver duct-tape fastened tightly round his left thigh and realised why he'd taken the risk. When McCoy looked up at him his eyes were glassy and his face pale and clammy.

"Jim, what are you doing here?" He asked, his voice hoarse and unsteady. He started to cough and then he couldn't stop, taking big wheezing breaths between the convulsions that tried to emit the fluid from his lungs. His knees gave out and he lost his precarious balance, sliding off the edge of the bed to the earthen floor. He sat against the side of the bed, looking completely disoriented as he tried to pull big lungful's of air into his starving lungs. His arm flung out to the side of the bed as he scrabbled for purchase in an attempt to get back to his feet but he didn't have the strength to haul himself up.

Kirk flew to his side and knelt down in front of him. He placed a hand on each side of McCoy's face to get him to look at him, it took a second for the older man's eyes to focus on his. He could feel the heat emanating from the doctor's sweat-slicked face. "We've done it. We've found a cure. You've done it." He confirmed, "You've saved them, kept them alive despite everything. You're a big damn hero, you know that Bones?"

"Not everyone." Bones muttered, his voice sounding truly broken. His eyes went up to a bed in the corner of the room and Kirk followed his gaze. It hadn't registered with him when he'd first come in but the bed in the far corner was silent, a sheet pulled up over the body that he could see outlined underneath. Kirk didn't move, unwilling to let go of the hold he had on his friend, but Spock stepped forward slowly, reverently and pulled back the sheet just enough. Kirk recognised the young Indian nurse dressed in Starfleet blue, he hadn't spoken to her much since she'd boarded with the last intake of recruits, but he's been struck by her pretty smile. Spock pulled the sheet back over her head and bowed, lost in a moment of meditation.

"I promised." McCoy whispered, barely audibly. "I promised her she'd be okay." Not knowing what else to do, Kirk pulled his friend forward and wrapped the exhausted man into a hug. The doctor buried his head into the captain's shoulder and the captain tried not to notice the shaking as his friend gave in to silent sobs.


	4. Epilogue

Epilogue

It was a month before they got back to Earth. It had taken a few weeks to get to the stage where they could leave the planet, a lot of the patients took time to recover, at first, still more infected arrived each day and there was no one but Chapel's little team of nurses to tend to them. Spock had attended the site of the shuttle crash and found it to be a hotbed of disease. The team who had crashed there had been taking samples from a nearby planet and the crash had dispersed the virus into the atmosphere, decontamination of the site was carried out to eliminate any further problems. Eventually though, a doctor and her team from a large settlement arrived and they were briefed and given all the equipment necessary to deal with the rest of the patients on their own. The recovering Starfleet officers were taken back on board and were able to continue their slow recovery in the comfort of their own quarters.

Leonard McCoy was relieved to be back, he knew it had taken a lot of persuading from the captain to get Starfleet to allow it, but as usual there was a catch. He wasn't in the mood for this, and he'd told Jim this in no uncertain terms, but he just smiled and said that it had been arranged by the Admiralty and there was no getting out of it. "It's just a press conference, I'll do the talking, five minutes of photos and then you're done." He promised as he watched McCoy straighten his tunic. Still, he'd felt it necessary to remind him of his disgruntlement every ten minutes right up until their shuttles touched down and they were escorted into the great hall at Starfleet Headquarters. McCoy found himself stood next to Scotty so he rolled his eyes at the engineer, assuming that of all people Scotty would be the first to agree how lame this was, but instead the man just shrugged and gave him a grin.

McCoy had only been in the great hall one time before, when recruits finished the academy they had a 'passing out' parade. It had been a long winded affair, with over seven hundred students being clapped as they appeared on stage to shake hands with the Admiralty and receive their certification and ID badges. The best bit about it had been the after party, or what McCoy's alcohol saturated brain could remember of it. This time, all he wanted was to go home and sleep for a week. He still hadn't gotten over his cough and the lasting exhaustion still tugged at his eyelids.

As he got into the hall this time, the Enterprise personnel were all shown into reserved seating at the front. Behind them were rows and rows of civilians. They didn't all look like reporters, but McCoy didn't think much of it. He chose that moment to grumble one last time at Kirk who was ushering him forward to take a seat with him in the front row. "This better not take too long." He uttered.

"Just shh and listen." Kirk replied with a smile. McCoy frowned at him, what had power done with his old roommate who'd sat at the back of his classes playing online poker, or who'd gossiped and griped all the way through the last time they'd been there.

Once everyone was seated, Commodore Paris stood up from her place amongst the Admiralty that had been seated on stage. She stood at the front and cleared her throat. "Citizens of the Federation," She addressed. "I thank you all for joining us today to celebrate as our flagship The Enterprise makes it home for some much needed rest. For over a year now they have been exploring our galaxies and have done some extraordinary things. To cover all their achievements here would take many hours, and I'm sure they must be looking forward to seeing friends and family so I do not wish to keep them too long. But I wanted to focus on an event which happened just a month ago, for when the citizens of Gharah requested their assistance with a plague our brave crew did not hesitate to act."

McCoy gave a Kirk a confused frown and Kirk just gave him that goofy grin of his back.

"Would the following officers please come on stage and receive their commendations of the highest order. Firstly I would like to commend the science officers, headed by First Officer Commander Spock for their tireless efforts to find a cure…" She began reading names off. The officers in question, all appearing as shocked as McCoy approached the stage and shook hands with the Commodore who for each in turn pinned a medal to the breast of their tunic. They were directed to shake the hand of each of the Admiralty and then to stand shoulder to shoulder on stage.

"Why didn't you tell me it was a commendation ceremony?" McCoy whispered to Kirk.

"If I had, I'm still not sure you'd come. Besides, why spoil the surprise?"

"For the nursing staff, headed by Lieutenant Christine Chapel who also worked tirelessly on the cure…" She reeled off more names. McCoy caught Chapel's eye as she headed to the stage, she blushed at him but he could tell that as embarrassed as she was about the attention, she was also excited. When the Commodore pinned her medal on and shook her hand she beamed with pride.

"For the ground team, headed by Lieutenant Doctor Geoffrey M'Benga, who risked their lives to care for the stricken and continued to work saving others when they themselves had fallen ill…." McCoy watched with sadness as the next team appeared on stage, one missing.

When the last of them had assembled with the others on the stage the Commodore turned and looked directly at McCoy. Kirk, the child that he was nudged him and winked. "And for Chief Medical Officer, Lieutenant Commander, Doctor Leonard McCoy who continued to care for the afflicted, almost until his own death by the disease, long after the rest of his team had succumbed, who I'm assured has always placed others before him. It gives me great pride to present your commendation. "

McCoy had to be nudged again before he got up and made his way to the steps to the stage, struggling and failing to contain the cough that still plagued him. When he got on stage he shook hands with the Commodore but she held his hand and wouldn't let go as she address the crowd again.

"Sadly, there is one person who couldn't be here today who deserved our gratitude as much as these fine people. Ensign Khadisha Khanom who had only a month as a Starfleet officer before giving up her life to help others. May she always be remembered for her selfless bravery. Doctor McCoy I hope you will accept this medal on her behalf." She opened his hand and pressed a small ornate box into it. He wrapped his fingers around it tightly and nodded.

"She will always be remembered." He whispered to the Commodore.

Seeing his distress she gave his arm a small squeeze and nodded back at him.

He then made his way to join the others, finding himself stood near Spock and Chapel.

"Will you all stand and join with me to applaud, for these brave beings who have saved a world from devastating consequences. Your Admiralty salute you."

At that the crowd erupted, everyone standing and clapping enthusiastically. McCoy scanned through the crowd, Kirk was where he left him, on the front row, face split in a grin, Scotty beside him and Uhura who was smiling proudly at her man. Chekov let out a whoop and Sulu who was beside him leaned over to him to tell him a joke which made them both laugh. He then looked to the crowd, clutching the medal box in his hand as he looked for someone who might be Khadisha's family. He might take Kirk with him to see them, he thought, as he was unsure that presenting this box and offering his condolences would be something he could manage without his heart breaking. He thought he found them, a large group, mother, father, brothers and sisters, the mixture of pride and sadness on the mother's face made him sure of it. He gave her a smile and she smiled back through her tears.

But then, off to the right, something else caught his eye. A little dark haired girl in a blue dress stood on her chair, waving frantically at him. The solemn smile he had been wearing disappeared and he actually laughed and gave a little wave back. Beside the girl, his own mother stood, one arm wrapped protectively round her to keep her steady on the chair.

"Is that Jo?" Chapel asked, leaning over to whisper at him.

"God, she's gotten so big!" He said in awe.

They posed a moment for pictures and then began to leave the stage in single file. As the last on, McCoy was the last off but as soon as his feet left the steps there was a shout from the crowd. "Daddy!" And little Jo McCoy bolted out of the crowd into her father's arms. McCoy swept her off her feet and swung her round once before settling her on his hip, arms wrapped around her tightly. Her little fingers reached out and played with the medal on her chest. "Nana says you got it for being brave. I want to be brave when I grow up." She said proudly.

McCoy kissed her on the top of her head, as his mother approached. "What are you talking about, you're already the bravest girl I know? But I know another girl who is very brave too and I have to go and speak to her mom for a minute okay?" She nodded solemnly and he put her down. Giving his mother a quick hug and kiss he let go of Jo's hand. "I'll be right back, I promise. Here," he snagged Kirk's arm as he walked passed, the man had managed to get champagne from somewhere and had three glasses balanced in his hands. "This is my best friend Jim." He told his daughter, "Jim has heard all about you. Why don't you tell Jim about the birthday present I got you?"

He moved away from them, listening to Jo tell Jim enthusiastically about her new horse which she'd named Starlight and how she was starting to get riding lessons. He moved through the crowd, mostly of Starfleet crew who all patted him on the back and gave their congratulations, but seeing the determination set on his face, no one tried to keep him or involve him in their conversation. He found Khanom's family towards the back of the room. Commodore Paris was talking with them quietly but excused herself when McCoy approached.

He gave them a grim smile, he'd had to break bad news to people before, as a trauma surgeon in Atlanta he'd had to do it on a regular occasion and he'd always known what to say, but not this time. With all eyes on him he felt completely lost. "I've been trying for a month to work out what to say," he began, deciding that his usual honesty was the only way forward. "The truth is, I still don't know. I didn't know Khadisha as well as I would have liked, but I do know she was brave and selfless and full of compassion. In her last days she became responsible for hundreds of lives and because of her those people are still alive today. She should never have had to sacrifice herself and for that I am so sorry." He found himself getting choked up at the words which started a small coughing fit that he struggled to get under control. Once it subsided he found he had nothing else to say, he handed over the small ornate box, opening it up so that the gold medal was displayed nestled in purple silk.

Khanom's mother stood before him crying and smiling but it was her father who took the box from him, his hand lingering on the doctor's for just a moment. "When you gave her the job on the Enterprise, it was the happiest day of her life." He said. "All she'd ever wanted to do was to go into space and to help people. You helped her achieve that and I'm sure, even knowing how it would end, she would not do anything differently. Thank you for being there for her at the end."

"I'm proud to have served with her." McCoy said genuinely.

"Is that your little girl over there?" Asked Khadisha's mother, wiping the tears from her eyes and indicating Jo. The little group had been joined by Uhura and Spock and Jo was chatting away animatedly to the Vulcan who looked to be struggling to understand her logic.

"Yep," McCoy said proudly.

"Then go be with her." Khadisha's mother urged. "Make the most of every minute."

McCoy nodded, "You know, I think I'll do just that." He shook hands with Khadisha's family and left them, striding back over to the small group of his closest friends and family. Jo was deep in a story about her pet bunny that was making Uhura and Kirk laugh as he came up behind her and picked her up again making her squeal. He set her back on his hip and took the glass of champagne that Kirk offered.

"Is the brave girl's mom okay?" Jo asked. McCoy looked at her, surprised that the small girl clearly had a deeper understanding than he'd expected.

"I think she will be." He said in return, he looked around at them and saw that Doctor M'Benga was now talking with them. Jo saw them too and gave a little wave. Khadisha's mother and youngest sister waved back.

"Now then Monkey, are you as bored of this place as I am? Shall we all go get pizza?"

"Yeah!" Jo and Jim cheered in unison making everyone else laugh. As the small group headed for the door McCoy found himself next to his captain. "Thank you." He said quietly.

"Yeah, well," Kirk replied with a shrug, "It has been brought to my attention that you deserve it. It has similarly been brought to my attention that I can be a bit of an ass. So I'm hoping to surround myself with people who will call me on it from time to time, what do you think? Up to the challenge?"

Leonard McCoy smiled and with his spare, non-child-carrying arm pulled him into a hug. "Buy me a pizza and I'll think about it," he grinned.


End file.
